Sunak Gulps Sturgeon Flounders

It’s been a day of two political halves with the main players demonstrating how slick their PR spin machines are.

Already, the hot favourite to take over from Boris, when he steps down - whenever that might be - Rishi Sunak, our well-dressed Chancellor, gave an accomplished performance at the dispatch box, although his frequent pauses to gulp water felt like dramatised punctuation marks.

It couldn’t be nerves could it? Was it fear of what boring old Kier would throw back at him? He needn’t have worried. It’s always difficult for the Leader of the Opposition to respond and Keir had a well-prepared speech peppered with jibes about Rishi and Boris. It always helps to have sight of some of the announcements in advance. But overall, as a speechwriter myself, I thought the invisible wordsmiths served their masters well.

Rishi didn’t do too badly. A good speech is always peppered with the Rule of Three, rhyming words in this case “I don’t think that’s hubristic or unrealistic” danced along quite nicely.

It’s always a good technique to repeat words:

Remind me again what was being cut?

Business rates – cut.
VAT – cut.
Stamp duty – cut.

And, where perhaps Boris would have turned to fellow PM and Harrovian, Churchill, Winchester educated Rishi went for Tennyson. Was he inspired by Judy Dench’s last outing as M in Skyfall when she quoted Tennyson’s Ulysses?

And so, whilst this last year has been a test unlike any other, that which we are, we are.

The fundamentals of our character as a people have not changed.

Still determined. Still generous. Still fair.

Said our suave Chancellor as his 50-minute peroration came towards its conclusion.

At least we didn’t get “Made weak by time and fate, not strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield."

Whilst on education, he would have made a good Economics and English teacher - but what about Geography? Gosh he went round the country dishing out plaudits to his colleagues, naming several constituencies, and we should not be worried – he knows the north exists. Leeds, Teesside, Liverpool.

He even deployed his body language well. Did you notice that wry smile cast towards the Deputy Speaker as he got up? Not having a full house to speak to must have made it easier. And talking of body language, he wasn’t put off by the slouching PM’s twitching leg to his right; impressive.

Meanwhile, north of the border dear old Nicola Sturgeon dressed all in red went well-prepared to give evidence at the inquiry into the Scottish government’s investigation of harassment claims against Alex Salmond.

It was always going to be difficult.

She was certainly ready to set her record straight.
You’ve got to hand it to her. Rishi was only on the spot for his 50 minutes whereas she had 8 hours of questioning, with the cameras picking up every nuance and bead of sweat. Not that I noticed any telltale perspiration from this cool cucumber.

I met Nicola Sturgeon, when running CBI Scotland during the 2014 referendum and I know she is an ace performer. A natural speaker, it is easy to understand how she captures people in her web, slowly reeling them in.

Perhaps that’s why her approval ratings are so high in Scotland. She is quick witted and appeals to everyone. That was the difference between her and Alex Salmond; she appeals across all socio-economic groups.

She was impressively calm and considered despite the looming possibility of losing her job.

Friends do fall out and this spat particularly with her former best pal doesn’t do the cause much good.
There are plenty of legal obstacles, but she timed everything well. Including - after a short pause - “Well let me stop there”. Clever! Straight out of the Yes Prime Minister scripts.

It would be tragic for the SNP if all this does is to slow down the march to independence. She is someone whose handling of the pandemic has made her widely trusted and respected. Who would want to be in the shoes of any man who brings down such a well liked female First Minister. Let alone one who needed to be cleared in the courts of all allegations of sexual misconduct.

Well, I leave it to you.